Obama Shifts on Change, Says he Might Back Status Quo

SINCERITY BEACH, Fla. — Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama said Friday he would be willing to support much of the status quo if that’s what it takes to push some of his minor ideas for changes through Congress.

Shifting from his clarion call for change, the Illinois senator told a Florida newspaper he could get behind a compromise with Republicans on just about anything.

Republican rival John McCain, who earlier dropped his last remaining moral, has been criticizing Obama on the stump and in broadcast ads for literally being Britney Spears in disguise. Polls indicate these attacks have helped McCain gain ground on Obama, though at the apparent cost of his waning lucidity.

“My interest is in making sure we balance my call for “Change We Can Believe In” with “Compromise That Gets Part of That Change Enacted”.  We’ve got the kind of bland middle of the road appeal that reaches out to most Americans,” Obama said in an interview with The Palm Beach Post.

“For example, the right to vote.  If, in order to get legislation passed to address the mockery its become, we have to compromise in terms of losing voter verified voting, or practices that disenfranchise minorities, _ I don’t want to be so rigid that we can’t get something done.”

“Plus my opponent is George Bush’s illegitimate time-child.”  Added the Senator.

Asked about Obama’s comment, McCain said, “We need civil rights and we need it now offshore. Our government has consistently opposed it for ordinary Americans. We have opposed citizen empowerment.  Obama has partially opposed these efforts.  What was the question again?  We’re bombing Iran next.” The GOP candidate said Obama doesn’t have a plan equal to the nation’s many challenges.

In Congress, both parties have fought bitterly over national policy for weeks, with Republicans pressing for more infringements on civil rights and Democrats railing publicly and compromising privately. Despite hundreds of hours of House and Senate floor debate, lawmakers will leave Washington for their five-week summer hiatus this week with an empty tank.

Confused and hurt citizens are advised to use this time wisely to rest and take stock of the situation.

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