CA: Liberty Counsel and Marriage for Christians Only

The Liberty Counsel has issued a brave and bold call for marriage to be limited to opposite sex couples (via Pandagon):

The desperation of the wingnuts to stop the launch of legal same-sex marriage in California next week is now laughable at this point.

Today Liberty Counsel is filing a petition requesting the California Court of Appeal to stay the issuance of marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

…This case is far from over. We will not give up. The people will have the final say on marriage.

In the interests of preserving the sanctity of marriage, believers in the one true religion have taken the extra step of adding in a measure to the ballot to limit all marriages to Christian Marriages.

Right Reverend Matthew Staver was blunt in his assessment of the “Heathen” problem:

“We’ve been polite long enough.  I think we’ve established, with majority support in California I might add, that we can base the rights of all on the religion of the majority.  The next logical step is to stop pretending that Jewish, Muslim, or even (have mercy) Hindu marriages are not sanctified by our lord Jesus Christ.  The fact is nonbelievers are committing a sin even more deadly than sodomy by rejecting God’s only son, and the one path towards salvation.  Frankly I’m not even sure they should be allowed to adopt.”

Matt was confident his efforts would pay off, and with echoes of Virginia in 2006, those about to lose their marriage rights seemed to concur:

“The Tanakh clearly states sodomy was punished by He on Most High.  If we have to avoid marriage to keep gay people from getting married, meh” said Ben (declined to give last name).  “The Koran forbids homosexuality.  That is the most important thing.” said (asked not to be named).

Is California poised to unite Church and State in holy matrimony?  The Liberty Counsel is down on one knee…

Disclaimer for the reading impaired:  This is satire.  It is intended to mock the vast amounts of hubris and bigotry at play in the attempt to deny people equality under the law on the basis of sexuality.


2 Responses

  1. As always, right will win….marriage for all….same sex marriage and all!!!!

  2. I certainly hope so.

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