The Earth is an Immoral Heathen Slut!

The problem with using the Bible to make a political argument is you then open it to critique.

Sisyphus at blogs for Brownback has given us an unfortunate glimpse into the lines of thought Brownback supporters are doing:

However, for both moral and theological reasons, we should always bear in mind that the Earth does not move. If it moved, we would feel it moving. That’s called empiricism, the experience of the senses. Don’t take my word for it, or the evidence of your own senses, Copernicans. There’s also the Word of the Lord:

“He has fixed the earth firm, immovable.” (1 Chronicles 16:30)

“Thou hast fixed the earth immovable and firm …” (Psalm 93:1)

“Thou didst fix the earth on its foundation so that it never can be shaken.” (Psalm 104:5)

“…who made the earth and fashioned it, and himself fixed it fast…” (Isaiah 45:18)

“The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose.” (Ecclesiastes 1:5)

There is so much gold here!  Let’s move past the brilliant “we’d feel the earth moving” argument, and skip the biblical quotes which do not support his thesis.  About Psalm 104:5… do earthquakes count?  Where is the foundation of the earth?  The rest of the quotes simply suggest the earth is “fixed”.  Which of course translates directly to “center of the universe”.

There’s more though.  Let’s take a look at Job:

 5 He moves mountains without their knowing it
and overturns them in his anger.

 6 He shakes the earth from its place
and makes its pillars tremble.

7 He speaks to the sun and it does not shine;
he seals off the light of the stars.

So apparently the earth is on pillars.  Neat.  Maybe Sisyphus can organize some NASA funding to find them.  But in the meantime there is a bit of a problem.  How can God have made the earth “immovable” and “so that it can never be shaken”, if he “shakes the earth from its place”?  Can God make an earth that can never be shaken or moved, and then move and shake it?  Apparently.  God has super anti-logic powers!

But this is the diamond in the rough: “However, for both moral and theological reasons, we should always bear in mind that the Earth does not move.”.

Moral reasons?  You may be thinking “what the hell is he on about?”, but bear with me.  You see, there is a direct correlation between earthquakes and immoral godless behavior.  And if it turns out the earth revolved around the sun, people might suspect we created God, and not the other way around.  That’s right kids, science leads directly to atheism!

I can’t wait to hear from the moonbats and the Darwinists and the other rubes on this one, though. Go on, witch doctors. Preach to me how the planet hurtles through the ether, Scriptural and physical evidence to the contrary! Your false doctrines will be cast down on the day when America rediscovers its Christian roots. That is a promise.

The ether is a relic from Greek mythology, a conception of “upper sky”.  Space dear Sisyphus, space!

Here is a promise, America will not be fooled into becoming a theocracy where cowards keep children locked way from a real education.  America is the land of the free, not a Christian nation where we stick our heads in the ground and recite scripture.  Heliocentrism is not an atheist doctrine.  It is a theory, a theory with mountains of solid empirical evidence to support it.  You see, science doesn’t have doctrine.  We don’t need to say “believe this or else”.  We can prove our points.   And those of us who believe in God, such as myself, don’t need to attack knowledge of the world and how it works to strengthen our worldview.

Fundamentalism will not take root in our country without a fight!

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